Darn Hard Learnin'

It took DHL long enough, but they finally figured out how to deliver a package to me that I have been waiting for for a number of months. Just as I was getting ready to head out the door this morning, the phone rang, as it is wont to do at such times. DHL calling to find out if I was who I claim to be and WhereTF I actually am. I told them to go somewhere else to find me, and they actually did. Good on ya, DHL!

So around 2:30 this afternoon my package finally found its way into my evil clutches, and I am now the proud owner of --- get ready for this, boys and girls --- Derek Gehl's The 'Insider's Secrets' to Marketing Your Business on the Internet from Derek and the gang at the Internet Marketing Center.

Cram-packed with information this package certainly is. The DHL guy forewarned me as he was passing the box into the evil clutches of my sweaty palms, "It's heavy." I didn't tell him it's not my brother, and actually I would venture to say that it was not like picking up a dumbell. But that there box, it be stuffed. Two, count 'em, 2, one two, spiral hard-bound notebooks of several hundred pages each. The bundles of pages for each notebook come in a shiny plastic wrapping. The first notebook contains six "chapters", called "steps" --- but whatever --- and they are:

Step 1, Find a Niche Market; Step 2, Decide What You'll Sell; Step 3, Write Compelling Salescopy; Step 4, Build Your Website; Step 5, Collect Sales Leads; and Step 6, Drive Traffic to Your Website.

And that's all straightforward enough. The second brand new looking hard-bound notebook? Likewise, straightforward and comprised of six "chapterish" steps: Step 7, Pay-Per-Click Advertising; Step 8, Search Engine Optimization; Step 9, Email marketing; Step 10, Affiliate Programs; Step 11, Advanced Testing and Tracking; and to round it all off, Step 12, Adding New Stream of Income.

Granted, I probably have access to all this information already, but it is scattered across the plethora of websites I have hiding in my bookmarks or in my various email accounts or on my hard drive, but it is nice to have everything all bundled together in nice, shiny plastic.

There is also the 56-page sleek little tome entitled Marketing 2.0: How to Make Your Business Social -- And Plug Into the Internet's Most Powerful Communities, which will come in quite handy as I address the whole CBP scenario.

And of course, the six CDs (Count 'em, one, two, thr . . . --- oh, never mind!): CD1, Find a Niche Market with Profit Potential; CD 2, Write Salescopy that Compels Readers to Take Action; CD 3, Create a Winning Pay-Per-Click Ad Campaign; CD 4, Optimize Your Website for Top Search Engine Rankings; CD 5, Internet Marketing Rolodex and Swipe File; and CD 6, Real-World Success Stories and Website Reviews (which I hope is not full of stories about eagle eggs).

There is a separate CD that comes contained in an envelope marked "Welcome...", and on the CD are the thought-provoking words, The Internet Entrepreneur Club, and what with me being the famous Intrepid Netrepreneur, I can tell you, I am intrigued. This little welcoming envelope also has an edition of the IEC newsletter similar to what I get in the snail mail already, but that's cool with yours truly. There is a second envelope reading Open to get your *Surprise Invitation!*, said invite being to a free consultation through an 800 number. I have never called an 800 number in the States before from Taiwan, so, we'll see how that goes. There is another letter, but it didn't get its own envelope; it's from Derek, and it looks like his signature is printed, not penned. That's pretty impersonal, but, hey, I can handle it. And finally, there is one more piece of paper (in orange, and well, I guess that can make up for the disappointment I am feeling over the printed signature --- but hey!! I CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!), telling me of $330+ in value of pay-per-click traffic. Hooray!!!

And that wraps up this Chaos Chasm II session. Time to close down the machine and head off to my night gig. After all, I do need to make some income before I start becoming an Internet kazillionaire. So back off!